I'm incapable of success

Yesterday morning I weighed in at 119, it has been a week and a half and I've only lost 1 fucking pound. I need to take this more seriously. After that I felt the fear of eating again, I know it's one of Ana's tendencies but I'll let it slide because it could be helpful. But I was honestly afraid to eat grapes, kinda cause I was afraid I would end up binging later. ANNNND so I did, I ended up going to the mall in search of kernels which there is none of in this butt fuck backwards city , and bought a soft pretzel and ate it with nacho cheese, I also ate a few of Altafs popcorn chickens. Then when I had came home my mom had given me half sticks of biscotti and I ate those. In total I have NO self control and will always be a fucking loser because all I'm capable of is giving up and getting scared.