Relapse, reminiscing, and laxatives. Three words that shouldn't work but fit perfectly together

I'm so excited!!! I checked the scale today expecting to be up some acatually cause I feel like I've been binging alot lately but I dropped another two pounds :) :) Ive breached the under 20 pounds to go limit and now I have 18. Honestly this is what I needed, with all the difficulties and near breakdowns I've had (I go to highschool and am constantly surrounded by junk food, I also live in the middle of a food complex and beside a nofrills that's catering to germens) this just...this will help me to continue through the pain realizing that it is making a huge difference. My first exit to lose the weight is July 19th but it's basically impossible according to all my math but still I'm going to hold it as a goal because I honestly don't think I can drop it.

The biggest binge I've done not in my home town was this thursday when I ate coconut jelly out of a coconut which was 200 extra after I had finished all my eating for the day which had pushed me to 583 calories for the whole day, I felt disgusted with myself but the reason I did it is because I try to make exceptions for food which is ties with experiences or 'flags' as I like to call them cause I live in video games. Because I don't want this to be an eating disorder again or at least not the negative bits like me missing or on the rare flags of life because of it. So yeah, but I'm still on track so yeah omgg im do happy about that.

Why is it that although I've lost 7 lbs I still haven lost an inch around my waist or hips? Also I am considering getting laxatives, not for purging but because I think with the small amount I eat my body just does it really slowly or something so I look bloated and feel huge ALL the time. I know they're horrible to start taking and it's only for emergencies but I would only use them for emergencies. I already try to eat a handful of nuts a day because I feel like they help move bowls but I want something just in case (btdubs almonds are the best for fiber).

And on the last note, I was cleaning out my closet with my best friend brigette yesterday (first time coming up to visit me since I moved :D) and she held up a pair of my underwear from when I was almost hospitalized last year and it was really shocking. They wernt even half her shoulder width, I never want to do that again, I had the body of honestly like a four year old. People probably didn't question it cause I'm Asian but seriously like ew.