What comes next?

My life revolves around my diet, my life is my diet. It's what I think about all the time, it's what I actively put work towards and it's what I blame for everything wrong in my life and everything good in my life. So what happens when it's gone? Then what? Who do I blame for people not liking me, things not going my way, or others getting opportunities I don't? Then what is my goal or purpose? That one thing always in my mind that I relate to all my choices? I know before it was helping people... Who knows...maybe it won't be so scary...maybe it will actually be better...you know? Like not maybe it can direct me somewhere more positive or exciting like my new thing could be art or friends or some type of sport or something. This actually sounds exciting now, huh. I think that's how life is supposed to be and that how this weight has really been holding me back.

But I mean there is the times when I also fear that even once I lose the weight I'll still be obsessed or it will still be the center of my universe.