Sixteen at last

A day before I turn sixteen. I'm less afraid now and just more depressed at the small feats which I have accomplished. Nobody really loves or likes me for me, they really just like me for lies I tell or because they basically are obligated to. I've traveled a bit but not real traveling when you truly learn and experience. I don't have a particular goal or interest or talent, the only thing I have a substantial amount of is things I'm mediocre at and goals which I've failed to achieve and instances in which I have failed to rise to the challenge and of course my theory's and the intelligence which has now faded but left its marks, I have developed an advanced philosophy and found the meaning to my life. So my goal for this next stage of my life's want to spend using the knowledge I have spent all this time acquiring and really experience and start living. However I do feel there are some goals I must accomplish first, first and for most is to settle with a physical appearance and hold it so I have to get a few tattoos dye my hair and F FUCKING GET THIS WEIGHT OFF!!!
Wish me luck phew.

Oh and explanation for the photos i I'm at point peel with my family for vacation and that's where I'll have my birthday and the other one is who I aspire most to look like